Time check: 10:38 pm. It is a warm night that honestly a fan isn’t sufficient, especially in a tropical place like where I am now. I had to turn off my little fan though, because I’ve decided to do movie night, and I couldn’t hear it well since the fan’s noise overpowered my goody laptop’s speaker. What made me watch this particular movie, you say? I don’t know. I’ve kept myself from watching it since two weeks ago, when my friend suggested it , and kindly gave me a soft copy so I could check it out immediately. For some reason, it was a really good one, but I didn’t have the time and mood to actually see a real good movie. But I finally gave in. And it felt warm in my heart. As warm as tonight.
Life is wonderful. It is unexpectedly extraordinary everyday, even at those times it felt too slow and boring. I wanted to be honest, so I’d say, I’m not the biggest fan of everyday. I like it, but I couldn’t say I am genuinely happy about it. Sometimes, maybe yes. Most of the times, no. And it is perfectly normal. “Soul” is a revelation for young adults like me in this lifetime, in this century, in this generation, how living corelates with our purpose in this earth.
Why do we even live? How do we even live? What really is happiness? Do I even have a purpose? I’m an adult now, what did I do all these years? Am I even going to discover my purpose of living?
Purpose is such a heavy word. It seemed like a boulder on my tiny shoulders, continuously dumping little rocks every minute. But it doesn’t have to feel that way. Many of us rely on “sparks” which for me is the excitement we all seek to live. When 22, was giving up from the very start, it was concerning but totally relatable. For years, you couldn’t find the spark that you believed would make you grow, that would make you live. You thought, like Joe believed, your spark is your purpose in life. And so, you struggle each day, looking for something that is difficult to understand. You look, feel, learn and hurt everyday trying to think what may be your purpose. And so, at times, you get desperate and sad, that you settle. Even when your unhappy. In the movie, I can’t help but cry when 22 realizes what my be her spark. And then I cried again when Joe asked Jerry, what is 22’s spark, since it is her purpose as well? And then I cried yet again when Joe met 22 again and went with her as far as he can to escort her to live in Earth.
What made me cry so much?
The movie helped me realize how the spark isn’t your purpose. The spark that made 22 complete and ready to live… is her will to actually live. Everything about 22’s delay to finally complete and find her spark isn’t about her lacking, but about her fear. Fear starts small, but grows faster than we think. The “spark” to completely live life, isn’t necessarily our life’s purpose. But it is the meaning of our daily lives. The time we decide to actually live our precious time in earth, that is our spark.
As someone who is impatient most of the times, at the same time scared of failure and disappointments, the movie struck my heart, bull’s eye. Fear is very familiar, and I choose not to let it live my life. It is a good reminder to stay grounded and work smart, so I’m still thankful for it.
“So, how will you live your life?” “ I don’t know, but I’m sure I’m going to live every minute of it.”
~keut
